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Many single gay men are happy, valuing their autonomy and personal freedom (like the muscled bad boy described above).
(Trust me, these prowling tigers do not change their stripes once they are hitched.) Perhaps you have a bit of a fetish for the strong silent type. ) But if you need sharing communication and emotional reassurance, you may find that the mysterious brooder is actually an unresponsive “cold fish” after a few months. Or how about the guy who gives you the chase, sending hopelessly mixed signals that are impossible to understand, such as ignoring you for periods of time alternating with romantic texting—leaving you wondering “does he or doesn’t he? (Answer: Yes, honey, it is.) Perhaps your close friends have rolled their eyes as they’ve watched you repeatedly making poor partner choices, trying to make husbands out of men who are unavailable.This toxic internalized belief is further ingrained if we have been treated harshly (or abandoned) by our fathers, the first men in our lives to teach us about our value in the eyes of other males.Sadly, these wounds are difficult to heal, and as a result, can leave gay men with the sense that we are unlovable and thus unworthy of love, affection, and happiness.Another way feeling unlovable manifests is in the choice of partner. For sure, so much of the gay male world is way too focused on looks, youth, the gym, partying, and fast hookups; so searching for Mr. However, feeling subconsciously unlovable or unworthy can again rear its head here through your choices.That muscled, tattooed bad boy is hotter than hell, and great in bed, but is he showing any sign that he is ready to settle down?
For sure, the pendulum has swung far in the other direction.